Answer The Harambe Call
by 0816egg
Summary: A story of bravery, redemption, and memes. Featuring heroic Harambe and the 2016 female ghostbusters.


Part 1: Harambe One moment he was protecting a small child from the zookeepers, the next he was bleeding in his gorilla habitat. Harambe, the kind gorilla, was only trying to help. He had many great ideas and infinite wisdom beyond his years. His inability to communicate with humans was all that was keeping him from unleashing this knowledge upon the world. Harambe felt no rage towards the humans who killed him. Only sadness because he could not share his wisdom with them. If only there was a way for him to come back and help the humans… Part 2: The Ghostbusters Patty, Abby, Jillian, and Erin all sat in the Ghostbusters lair waiting for someone to need their help. It was a slow day. Abby walked over to the fro-yo dispenser and got another large bowl of it. She was very anxious about whatever their next mission might be and she was drowning her anxieties in frozen yogurt. At this point, Patty walked in. "Hey, Patty" said Erin. "Did you bring back the Ghostbusters mobile?" "IT'S A CADILLAC!" Patty yelled joyously. Abby threw an empty fro-yo bowl at her. "DANG IT PATTY YOU KNOW WE CANT SAY THAT! THE ECTO-1 NOW IDENTIFIES AS A LAMBORGHINI!" Abby screamed across the room. She was about to launch into another tirade but Patty ran into her and threw her on the floor. Patty started whacking Abby in the face while yelling "AW HELL NO IT'S A CADILLAC!" The girls fought for a few minutes and picked up plastic fro-yo spoons and started fencing each other with them. "Guys, the equipment is going crazy!" Jillian exclaimed. Indeed it was. The equipment was making all sorts of funny noises that probably meant something important. Abby and Patty stopped fighting and all the Ghostbusters got to work. Part 3: The Meeting The members of the group all filed into the room. They knew what they were about to do and they knew the world would never be the same. The chairs were arranged in a circle all pointing towards one central point on the floor where the leader of the group stood and waited. Once everyone filed in, the leader began to speak. "Tonight, we right a terrible wrong.Tonightwe bring back one of the greatest cultural icons of our time. Now, lets get started. Everyone, join hands." The leader commanded. Everyone in the group joined hands with the person next to them. The leader then pulled a picture of a gorilla out of a folder. But this gorilla was no ordinary gorilla. His eyes were kind and knowing and warm. The leader rotated around the room with this picture and made sure everyone saw it. Then the leader placed the picture on the floor and extracted a crystal vial from their pocket. "On the count of three, I will pour this vial of male tears onto this picture and at the same time all of you must yell the gorillas name as loud as you can. Ready? One… Two… Three!" the leader yelled with purpose and then poured the vial onto the picture of the gorilla. At the same time, the room full of people shouted in one single harmonious voice "HARAMBE!" A flash of light emitted from the point where the male tears, sound waves from the shouting, and the image of the gorilla met. The picture glowed for a moment and then disappeared. Part 4: Harambe returns Harambe was suddenly aware of the world around him once again. Except this time it was different. The world was more… fluid somehow. And Harambe was more powerful as well. He soon realized what they had done. Harambe cried a gentle tear at the graciousness of the humans. Then, Harambe sensed something. A presence. And another. And another. Then he realized what the humans had accidentally done. By bringing him back as a ghost, they also brought back others ghosts as well. Part 5: Investigation The Ghostbusters drove around in their Cadillac Lamborghini Ecto 1 and followed the equipment to where the ghosts were coming from. "Patty, I think we're lost" Erin said to Patty who was driving at the time. "I KNOW NEW YORK!" Patty replied to Erin and stepped on the gas petal. Erin started panicking. "Uh, Patty, you arent supposed to be going 86 miles per hour here. Can I drive?" implored Erin. "AW HELL NO!" Patty retorted and drove even faster in a rage-induced fit of speed. They arrived at the room where Harambe was resurrected. There was a group of ghosts meeting there now and the Ghostbusters hid behind a potted plant and listened to what they were saying. "Guys, we should destroy something!" one ghost said. "Why would we do that?" replied another. "The living people haven't messed with us yet so we should just chill." At this point, Patty decided she was tired of waiting and started trying to bust the ghosts while yelling "THE POWER OF PATTY COMPELS YOU!" The other Ghostbusters joined her and all started yelling cheesy one-liners. They didn't hit any of the ghosts, but they did manage to tick all of them off. The ghosts swore to get revenge on humanity and all flew off to destroy Trump Tower. They tried to destroy it, but soon realized that it was useless. The Trump Tower was too HIGH ENERGY for them and extreme amounts of HIGH ENERGY worked as ghost repellent. The ghosts instead flew to the Empire State building and sought to destroy that. Part 6: The Obligatory Battle Scene The Ghostbusters arrived at the Empire State building in record time due to Patty's vast knowledge of New York. The ghosts all joined forces and created one super ghost. The super ghosts started stepping on people and turning them into ghosts so they could become part of the super ghost too. The Ghostbusters tried to shoot the super ghost, but it just regenerated itself with more ghosts from the people it was stepping on. Chaos ensued and havoc erupted. All of a sudden, a glittering and glowing figure emerged from behind a building. He was only a third the size of the super ghost, but his heart and his determination could engulf the earth. Harambe charged into the super ghost and leaped through its heart. The super ghost shattered and dissolved into glitter in the sky. Harambe stood there in the light for a moment as the humans stared at the majestic sight before their eyes. Harambe then leveled up after defeating the final boss and gained that ability to communicate with humans. He told them how to create 100% clean energy and how to achieve world peace. The people cried with gratitude and love for this wonderful gorilla. Sadly, Harambe knew he could not stay on earth. His ghostly presence would only attract more ghosts who would seek to harm the humans. "Ghostbusters, you must destroy me. My presence is a danger to this world. I wish humanity the best, but I must go now." Harambe said with a tear in his eyes of compassion and wisdom. The Ghostbusters hesitantly picked up their particle throwers and Patty blasted Harambe through the heart and yelled "AHA!" Harambe smiled a serene and wise smile and faded into the stars. The people looked into the night sky. There he was. Harambe had become a constellation. A shooting star flew from the constellation. It was a tear of happiness from Harambe. The End Written by: Lexana 


End file.
